Back Again, at 30 Weeks

Well, it's been awhile...again...and I'm not even going to bother with one of those posts where I give all the updates, as that'd be too exhausting, and well, I'm not sure you're interested either!

However, I guess the big news is that we had our anatomy scan back in January, and I guess I can update you on that...we're having a boy! Monkey is going to be a big brother.

At only 22 months, it's definitely a hard concept for Monkey to grasp.  My mom got him a baby doll for Christmas, and about two months ago, he rediscovered it and latched onto it.  Now, "Baby" has to do most things Monkey does...Baby sleeps with him, plays with him, eats with him, and so on.  If Monkey is doing something, for example, riding his rocking horse, you can be sure that at some point, he'll ask for Baby to do it, too.  It's very sweet.

We didn't think about the name "Baby" being a problem--the name just kind of happened--until we started getting E2's nursery ready.  It's been cleared out, painted, and we've begun decorating (theme: The Very Hungry Caterpillar!), and now Monkey thinks that is HIS Baby's room.  He has put Baby to sleep in the pack-n-play in there (Monkey is still sleeping in his crib, so that's what we've got in there for now), and he told me to "Shhhh."  He has pulled clothes out of the closet for Baby.  No wonder it's confusing, when we tell him there's a baby in Mommy's tummy...of course he gets confused with the term "baby."

Monkey is pretty oblivious otherwise.  He hasn't noticed that I am getting larger in the mid-section.  Sometimes when I'm reading or rocking him at night, I can feel E2 rolling away...and I wonder if Monkey will notice, but he never does.  Of course, I know there's no preparing him, really, for the big changes that are coming.  We've started saying "Baby Brother" for E2.  We're still working on a name, and we think we've settled on one, but it still kind of creeps us out to refer to E2 as a name, and really, that name wouldn't mean much to Monkey, anyway, without seeing a baby at least.  Monkey does recognize babies out and about all the time, so he does know there are other babies out there.

I'm feeling pretty good for 30 weeks (today!).  I was measuring a week ahead at my midwife appointment yesterday.  My weight has been sporadic, gaining faster at times, then slower, but it's 23 pounds gained, total, so far, so that's not horrible, though I've still got 7-12 weeks to go...which is crazy! I feel like this pregnancy has gone quickly, while slowly at the same time.  Last fall seems so long ago.

I am starting to feel winded pretty easily, and I need much more frequent breaks between active tasks.  Bending over and getting up are more of a chore.  Pregnancy insomnia is back, which stinks, since I'd really like to enjoy these last few weeks with a toddler who sleeps 11-12 hours straight!  The allergies aren't helping with that, either.  Rolling over in bed is definitely a challenge, too, and my hips get sore from laying on my side.  But overall, I feel pretty good, and these complaints are just minor...and of course, I'll take any pregnancy symptoms just because it means I'm pregnant!

Reflecting on infertility and being pregnant, this time around, it's interesting.  We had the best case scenario last year, since Monkey self-weaned at 12+ months, thanks to my lack of pumping at work (after the transition to whole milk) and dwindling milk supply.  That paved the way to not feeling guilty about weaning and allowed us to do the pre-requisite testing last summer, in preparation for a September IVF.  Then we were so fortunate that insurance approved us right away for IVF (without having to go through the ridiculous rigamarole of overstimming on injects cycles again...), AND the first IVF worked.

We'd always said we'd want a minimum of two years between siblings, and being infertile, you never do get to plan your pregnancies.  Being even more picky, I preferred a summer baby, for my leave, for avoiding winter germs during the newborn months, and for matching up seasons of clothes with Monkey's hand-me-downs.  We figured September would be the earliest we'd want to start, and it'd be awesome if it worked then, but if not, we'd want to start trying again right away, to minimize the years between siblings.

And it just so happened that the stars aligned, and E2 is due just 3 weeks, exactly, after Monkey's birthday.  In fact, E2 will be full term at 37 weeks on Monkey's original due date, May 31. We do wonder if he'll make an early appearance, or if he'll come late like his brother (who was 8 days late) and be closer to a 4th of July baby.

We just got lucky in the timing.  But as we've been out this spring, I'm all too aware of other pregnant women walking around with toddlers very close in age to Monkey.  Two years is a common spacing for siblings, it seems, and I just know I'd be even more aware of it if we'd struggled to conceive this second time around.  As it is, I'm aware just because I've been infertile and I don't take pregnancy for granted.  I feel fortunate we did get to "plan" this pregnancy, and the timing worked out as ideally as we would have liked.

Even when it comes "easily"--and I use that term lightly: IVF is never "easy," but considering last time, when it took a year of treatment, including non-responding Clomid cycles, 3 overstimmed/canceled injects cycles, and months of fighting with insurance for IVF approval, this was "easy," getting to slide right into an IVF cycle on our own timing without haggling with insurance or messing with Clomid or injects--I don't think I can remove those infertile glasses.  "Easy" for us means major medical intervention, but major medical intervention that went smoothly and worked, the first time, again.

I guess I'm just trying to say that I appreciate being pregnant, and not only pregnant, but pregnant on the timeline we preferred.  The small complaints really are small.  Pregnancy--knock on wood--has been easy for me, both times, which at least feels like a small concession for having to be infertile.  It certainly does not work that way, easy pregnancies, for everyone, least of all infertiles, I know.  So, I'm just trying to enjoy these last weeks of pregnancy, not to mention the one-on-one time with Monkey, before our world changes...again.

A Closer Look at the Pink Ribbon

The use of ribbons is prevalent, but the meaning behind the ribbons can sometimes be hidden or overlooked. The popularity of ribbons can be seen everywhere—look at the countless lapel buttons and pins, bumper stickers, license plates, jewelry, and endless consumer products that use the image of a ribbon. It is easy to find the ribbons, but it is much harder to find or explain the message of the ribbon beyond a seemingly benign message of support and awareness.

The ribbon has come to represent an organization’s fight for awareness and support, in a culture where even nominal awareness and support of a socially-condoned organization signifies a person’s political and social consciousness. We even have a new term coined for this phenomenon: “slactivism.”  The messages, furthermore, are typically hard to contradict. These seemingly benign messages of support eliminate the possibility for argument and thus demand uncontested support. And yet the message behind the pink ribbon is anything but benign.   

Last week’s Komen fiasco (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2012/01/31/komen-planned-parenthood-cuts-karen-handel_n_1245568.html?ref=daily-brief?utm_source=DailyBrief&utm_campaign=020112&utm_medium=email&utm_content=NewsEntry&utm_term=Daily%20Brief, http://www.nytimes.com/2012/02/04/health/policy/komen-breast-cancer-group-reverses-decision-that-cut-off-planned-parenthood.html?hp, http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/ezra-klein/post/komen-vice-president-karen-handel-resigns/2012/02/07/gIQAYP0WwQ_blog.html) demonstrates that at least for the Komen pink ribbon, the cause is politically motivated rather than truly and simply, for women’s health

The pink ribbon, as well as other ribbons, has secured a position of status and admiration in American culture. When a person wears a ribbon, we are to understand that s/he is dedicated to the cause in a sincere manner. We can just pin a loop of color onto our clothing without much dedication involved and evoke the myth of the pink ribbon. 

To refuse to wear these ribbons or support those who wear them is socially unacceptable.   Peace advocates experience this reaction when they do not support the yellow ribbon; whether we support the war or not, we are expected to support the men and women fighting the war, and yet this is a slippery slope. It is hard to argue against supporting an eighteen-year-old who is far removed from the political maneuvering of the war, and yet to support that solider is to support the government, ultimately. At the same time that we are expected to separate what we don’t agree with from the individuals that we should support unconditionally, there is no separation in the ribbon.  And yet, because the pink ribbon IS politically motivated and complicated, there are organizations, such as the National Breast Cancer Coalition (NBCC), that definitively do not use the pink ribbon because of its complicated meaning.

Barbara Ehrenreich, a breast cancer survivor, analyzes the pink ribbon after experiencing the overwhelming pinkness of undergoing breast cancer treatment.  Ehrenerich quotes Cindy Pearson, director of the National Women's Health Network; “Breast cancer provides a way of doing something for women, without being feminist.” Supporting the pink ribbon campaign came to be a way for corporations to support women without the dirtiness of a disease like the still socially controversial AIDS epidemic and also without the liberal and thus controversial connotations that would result from aligning with a feminist cause like abortion or contraception. Last week’s Komen fiasco underscores this.

The pink ribbon campaign evolved and became so popular so quickly in part because it was not a feminist campaign or a campaign that challenged corporations to change their environmental policies.  The popularity of the breast cancer movement, despite other more likely, more fatal diseases for women, indicates the power of its symbol, and it’s seeming “safety” as a cause.  The pink ribbon has achieved mythical status through its popularity and widespread recognition, and by consequence mandated support…at least until closer examination, as the public outlash at Komen last week, indicates.

Personally, I, was pleased not only to see the issue surface last week, but to see the overwhelming public support for Planned Parenthood and its dedication to providing women of lower socioeconomic status with access to health care, regardless of a person's political beliefs on choice.  Many think Komen and its pink ribbon have been permanently damaged.  I just hope people will  think twice about supporting the pink ribbon, and what that truly means...and not just now, but for the months and years to come.  I wonder what will happen in October...

Related Links:

• History of the Pink Ribbon: http://thinkbeforeyoupink.org/?page_id=26
•  “Think Before You Pink: Wear a Ribbon, But Donate Carefully”: http://www.msmagazine.com/sept03/horton.asp
•  “Welcome, Fans, to the Pinking of America” (on pursuing treatment/detection versus prevention): http://www.nytimes.com/2011/10/16/business/in-the-breast-cancer-fight-the-pinking-of-america.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all
• “Charity Brawl” Nonprofits Aren’t So Generous When a Name’s at Stake” (on Komen suing other nonprofits for infringing on its brand: http://online.wsj.com/article/SB10001424052748703700904575390950178142586.html

12 Week Update

Yikes!  I cannot believe it's been over a month since my last post!  It's been a pretty crazy month around here, though, so that's what I'll pass off as an excuse to you...  :/

 We had a couple of scary moments over the past few weeks.  First, the Monkey was sick, home from day care for three days with a moderate fever.  A trip to the pedi showed his ears and lungs were clear, so we just had to wait it out.  In the meantime, he was also cutting four teeth, so that just added to his level on crankiness.  After taking a 4.5 hour (!!!) nap on the third day, his fever finally broke.  Unfortunately, two days later, a rash appears on his trunk and cheeks.  I didn't think much of it at first, but then I started consulting Dr. Google...

While that can be a risky venture, it turns out my research was pretty accurate.  Monkey's history of a fever, then a rash, without other symptoms indicated Roseola or Fifths Disease.  Unfortunately, because his fever wasn't ever very high, and because the rash didn't develop for two more days, the pedi narrowed it down to Fifths Disease.

That isn't a problem and requires no treatment...unless you are pregnant.  If the fetus contracts the virus, it can develop anemia and ultimately, a miscarriage can occur.  The same day Monkey was diagnosed, I went in to get some blood work done, to see if I had the antibody for Fifth Disease.  My mom couldn't remember me ever having it, but the majority of adults do have the antibody, even if they never displayed the symptoms.

The antibody test is a special one that requires being sent out of state.  Lucky me, I got to wait a week for the results, over the Thanksgiving holiday.  Added to the anxiety, at my 9w midwife appointment, she couldn't hear the hearbeat on the doppler...now I know, 9w is early, and they say 10w is usually the earliest they can hear a heartbeat.  I'd say I kept it pretty calm, all around, especially for an Infertile.  That's the benefit of doing this the second time around, I guess.

Well, the antibody results came back, and thankfully, I was in the clear, testing positive for the antibody.  The crazy IF in me still worried if I had had the virus before Monkey had it (unlikely I know, but we discovered that our neighbor had it 6 weeks before he did, so she could have passed it along to me first).  I had to wait another two weeks to get to our NT scan, at 12w. 

Oh, and in the meantime, I had an awful cold.  I'm happy to be pregnant, and I'll happily abstain from drugs and alcohol, but it's really hard to have a congested, fluid-filled head for over a week, zapping your energy and giving you sinus headaches.  The cold also developed into an ear infection, and I got to have the feeling of an unpopped ear for over a week.  Fun, fun, fun.

Thankfully, again, everything showed up normal.  E2, as we're calling our little fetus, looked great, wiggling around, looking much more like a human than s/he did at the 8w ultrasound with the RE, when the resemblance was closer to an alien or gummy bear.  Our risks for Downs and Trisomy 18 are the lowest they can be, and the doctor talked to me in detail about my blood results.

In short, I tested positive for the antibody, but not for the marker that indicates a recent infection....so, I haven't had Fifth Disease in at least the past 5-6 months.  Excellent news!  Plus, we got the cute ultrasound pictures to complete our day.

With the good news of the NT scan and making it to 12w, it was time to make the big announcement to the whole world.  I hadn't told anyone at work other than a close colleague and my supervisor.  However, I've been wearing maternity pants since 7w (seriously! I popped over night!), and wearing baggy clothes to hide a most definite bump.  I know it happens faster the second time around, and I could have made do a few more weeks, using the belly bands, like last time (didn't wear maternity pants till 12w last time), but why bother when I have a full wardrobe of comfy elastic pants in the attic?  Anyway, we made the big announcement to the world, via FB, of course.

It's always important to me, whenever someone knows I'm pregnant, to also let them know it's after IF, and through IVF.  I feel like it makes a difference somehow, to me, as well as to other IFers who may or may not be out of the IF closet.  I know it's brought other people to me, sharing experiences like bedrest, miscarriages, and IF treatment, and for that, I will always feel it's important to share.  It's easier to share once you're pregnant, and if I can raise awareness in even one person, so they won't make an insensitive remark to a fellowe IF-er (pipe dream???), then it's definitely worth it.

Well that's about it for my massive update.  I really should (and want to) write more often...and then I don't...for no good reason, other than when I'm not on baby duty, I'm either cleaning, running errands, or taking advantage of the precious time to be VERY lazy.  Seriously, what is it about being a parent that makes me feel more lazy sometimes?  It's like the free time, during naps for example, is so rare and so finite, that I feel like it's almost criminal to be productive. 

Being in the first trimester hasn't helped.  Nausea and fatigue were definitely present from 5w to about 9w, but it definitely got better, and earlier than I remember last time.  I'm looking forward to the second trimester of energy and feeling good!  And just in time for the holiday season.  Monkey is so amazing now, at 18 months.  He enjoys seeing the lights, he's picking up words at an amazing rate, he clearly understands commands, and he's definitely got quite the personality.  It's fun to be a parent for the holidays.  I remember how hard it was when we were going through treatment.  Having the extra special bonus of this second pregnancy makes it even better.

Reproductive Rights and Choice

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: Infertility has done nothing if not strengthen my pro-choice beliefs.

I won't repeat Mel's excellent post about Mississippi's personhood legislation, but I wholeheartedly agree with her: 
"I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: reproductive rights are reproductive rights, and if you want the freedom to choose whether or not you have access to fertility treatments, you need to support other reproductive rights.  Legal wranglings are not a pu-pu platter where you can say hands-off my embryos and making decisions for me about their creation and storage but then leave women who want to choose whether or not they carry a child back on the plate.  Either your government’s hands are in your uterus or they’re not.  And frankly, the only hands I want near my uterus are the ones attached to my RE who is making decisions in regards to my reproductive (and emotional) health by tailoring those decisions to my own unique situation.  The only people I want making decisions that affect my body are my doctor and myself — and my body extends to people I create with my body."


We have 3 embryos on ice.  I'm currently 7w5d pregnant with something that is still an embryo and not quite yet a fetus.  I've already seen its heartbeat, and I want it to thrive, obviously, as an IVF patient. And I'm still pro-choice.

I want the freedom to do what I need to do for my body and for my family.  If this embryo threatens my life, and the life of our family, I want abortion to be an option.  This embryo wouldn't exist if IVF wasn't an option, and if my RE couldn't have created it, and the other 3 on ice, in a lab.  Clearly, I support IF treatment.

And if this embryo makes it to become a live baby, then I want the freedom to choose what to do with those 3 embryos on ice.  We froze them because we want the option.  We know there are no guarantees, and we want the option to try again, should we need to.  But we also know our family is done with two children, meaning that if this embryo in me makes it, those other 3 will be donated to research.  And I want to be able to make that decision.

We had the freedom to decide to put back only 1 embryo because we didn't want the risk of HOM.  We wouldn't have wanted to be forced to use all 4 embryos at once.  That wouldn't be medically advisable.

As an IFer, I know all too well that a fertilized egg does not make a pregnancy.  Remember implantation?  That fertilized egg has to implant in the uterine lining.  Fertilization + implantation = pregnancy.  But wait, pregnancy also does not equal a live baby.

Granting personhood to embryos doesn't make sense.  Medically, an embryo alone cannot be sustained as a pregnancy without my body.

Right now, I've got a little parasite growing within me.  I took active steps to get this little parasite, and I want it to thrive. It's not a person, not yet.  It can become a person, but it isn't a person yet.  I get more rights than it, and if I decide it's safer, healthier, better, whatever, for my family to not carry forward with this pregnancy, I want this option.

And I wouldn't even be here, pregnant, without these rights.  Personhood threatens IF rights...you can be pro-life for yourself and not choose abortion, but IFers, please, at least you of all people, realize that reproductive rights are important for all of us.  Don't choose abortion if you don't want to.  Don't choose IVF if you don't want to.  But let others make that choice for themselves, too.  Pro-choice isn't pro-abortion, it's pro-CHOICE...the choice is what's important, and that choice is far too personal to be legislated.

Being IF has only reinforced my pro-choice stance.  Yes, when we tell Monkey what's in my "tummy," we say "baby."  Because we can barely get him, as a 17-month old, to understand that concept.  We're using age-appropriate terms.  He can say "baby."  He can point to my "tummy."  "Uterus" and "fetus," not so much.  But that doesn't change what's inside me--it just means we're being age-appropriate.

This MS legislation isn't the first of its kind, and it won't be the last.  But we need to recognize the wide-reaching impact it has on our lives, all of our lives.  We're not talking about just abortion and IVF, either.  This would also have an effect on birth control, like the pill, IUD, and emergency contraception.

Family planning affects all of us...okay, well at least those of us having sex with the opposite sex, or with those of us pursuing IF treatment.  And for that reason, we need to stand up for reproductive rights.  You can't limit abortion without limiting other civil rights.  It's important.  And it's an issue politicians are going to continue to use to mobilize and motivate the conservative voters...because it works.

But we need to use this kind of legislation to motivate us, as well.  Consider the pro-CHOICE stance, and it's emphasis on CHOICE.  These politicians aren't thinking about how this kind of legislation can affect family planning and IF treatment--they are targeting abortion.  But the effects are wide and damaging.  And that should matter to you.

6w1d

We had our first ultrasound for E2 today, at 6w1d.  The little bean is looking great, and we could see its heartbeat flashing.  I'll go back to the RE one more time in two weeks for an ultrasound at 8w, and if all still looks good, then I graduate to the midwife.

Today, I also made my first midwife appointment (November 18), as well as the NT scan (December 8) and anatomy scan (January 26).  With Monkey, I found that by the time I made it into the midwife, around 10w, it was hard to get the NT scan scheduled for 11-13w, and it was even hard to find availability for the anatomy scan.  I guess the MCH units around us are pretty busy.  So, I hope it doesn't jinx anything, but the appointments are made.  Of course, I've been an IFer long enough to know that making a ticker or an appointment aren't going to cause a miscarriage...but I can't stop the magical thinking.

I was looking back at my blog posts around this time for Monkey, and they are disappointingly missing any detail of my symptoms.  I think I was trying to not complain, but I wish I'd documented more.

I think what I'm feeling now is pretty similar to last time--I'm feeling pretty nauseous often.  More often than not, I feel sick later in the day, rather than right away in the morning.  If I learned anything last time, it's that I should not let my stomach be empty...so, I try to snack regularly throughout the day, eating crackers, cereal, etc.    I also learned that even when I feel sick and not hungry, that I should eat, and that usually, this will make me feel better.

So far, that seems to be moderately helping.  The evenings are tough though.  It's all I can do to in the evenings toget Monkey fed, play with him, get him to bed, and do something simple like empty the dishwasher.  J's been cooking dinner, so that's helpful.

I've also been fall asleep around 9, sleeping till around 6 or 7, depending on when Monkey first starts stirring.  So I guess I'd also say that I'm experiencing the pregnancy fatigue.  The other night, J was drinking scotch, and the smell was just awful...so also, the pregnancy nose is in effect.  Every once in awhile, I'll experience short moments of breast tenderness, but so far, nothing major here.  And I'm still in my post-weaning bras, a size down from when I was pregnant and nursing Monkey. No weight gain yet, and all my clothes still fit.  I want to get my maternity clothes out of the attic, though, because I have a shirt I used with Monkey for all my belly shots, and I want to use the same one with E2, and I started at 6w for Monkey, so I guess it's time to start documenting!

Oh, and I think I'm also a little more emotional.  I was listening to an NPR story about a country star, and that made me nostalgic for the country music I used to listen to (before 9/11...after which, I felt country music got to God-y and violent for my tastes...and so I reverted full-time to my other musical preference for alternative/rock).  I still have Dixie Chicks on my iPod, so I cued it up, and then before I knew it, I was teary eyed.  I don't know if its the nostalgia of the time when I used to listen to country music, or the fact that I think I've always liked country music more--it's music you can really sing to, something I never do for alternative/rock...or the lyrics...or pregnancy hormones...but, well, there you have it.

I was pretty hopeful that everything was okay today, as I'd definitely been experiencing an increase in symptoms.  But of course, we know all too well all that can go wrong.  I kept saying, "I hope it's still alive."  I don't know if that was my way of preparing myself that I might not be pregnant, or more magical thinking that if I wasn't counting on it being alive that it would be...but it's the same way I was with Monkey...I think I will always be like that, as an IFer.

Although, while it took IVF to get us here, again, I still feel like it was so easy.  One cycle, that was covered by insurance, and here we are, pregnant again, on an ideal timeline.  Here I am, an IFer who timed her pregnancy!  I wanted similar timing to Monkey, to have a second when he turned 2, to have maternity leave over the summer again...and that's what we've got...at least for now.

For me, IVF now is easy.  Sure, it's a hassle, but it's covered by insurance, we know it can work, we know the steps, and it's got a 50/50 chance.  And it worked, the first try, again.  It feels too easy...but we're happy with that, obviously!

Doubling!

Beta was 1902 on Wednesday, so that more than doubled from 881 Monday.  And it was 3254 today, so not doubling within 48 hours anymore, but that's normal as the numbers get to be above 2000, so all is still well.

I am 5 weeks, as of yesterday, so our first u/s is scheduled for next Friday, 10/28, at 6 weeks.  Hopefully, we'll be able to see the heartbeat!  We've officially named this little bean E2 (Monkey was Little E).

In other news, I should add block, book, and duck to Monkey's ever-growing list of words...definitely exponential these days.  I also finally put together his photo book of his first year.  Back in April, I bought 2 $35 Groupons for Picaboo photo books, and while I did finish his birth story photo book, with all the u/s and belly pictures, and the story of IVF through labor and delivery, I was just procrastinating on his first year.  The expiration on the Groupon inspired me to finally finish it though, and I made the deadline with about 3 hours to spare last night, so not too shabby! His first year photo book has his monthly photos, then pictures from each month, along with a summary of major activities for the month.

I found that I liked doing these photo books more than hand writing in a traditional baby book.  I started one for Monkey, but I never finished it.  I just prefer to type and do things electronically.  As long as everything goes well with E2, I'd like to do this now along the way, now that I know I like this process, rather than procrastinating first because I didn't want to hand write in the book, and then because I had so many months to catch up on.  If I do it electronically along the way, it won't take as long.

I do like the Picaboo photo book software.  You download it onto your computer, and then you have a local version of the photo book--you don't have to be connected to the Internet in order to work on your book.

And no, neither Picaboo or Groupon are paying me for this blog post! Just sharing some helpful software I've found...now I'm excited to see the book in hard copy.  I was definitely pleased with the birth story book.

Just Relaxing!

This photo cracks me up. The Monkey is just relaxing.

His words have really picked up. We consistently and clearly hear Mommy, Daddy, dog, shoe, bye-bye, more, outside, stick, moo, cow, cat, night-night, and ball. There are others, but they aren't always clear or consistent.

He recently pocked up the more sign, finally, but now, he uses it and says more to mean he wants something to eat or drink, regardless of whether he's had any yet. It's great to see the progression.

He also is so aware of everything we tell him.  He can follow instructions, such as give something to Daddy.  He knows where to go when I tell him I have to go to the potty (when we're alone, he follows me), when I say it's bath time or time for night night.  In the tub, I tell him to go swimming, and he lies down flat and kicks and splashes.  He knows where his head, belly button, tummy, and penis are.  He can give us high-fives, go "crazy" by shaking his head back and forth, and put his arms up for a touch down.  He's had the all done sign down for many months now, and that continues to be a favorite to let us know when he's all done, no matter what he's doing.

He plays with Finn, our Boston Terrier, really well now--he knows gentle, and he's getting better.  He tries to throw the ball for Finn, and he and Finn love to play tug and chase.  Finn is just 16 pounds, and he's very gentle and great with Monkey, and now that they Monkey can play with him, I think Finn's finally getting something more out of his presence than just having to avoid his toys (he's been great with that, since we started initially not letting Finn touch any of Monkey's toys that were out on a blanket) or even just having to avoid Monkey.  Finn does still have to avoid Monkey sometimes, when Finn's tired and Monkey wants to play tug or pet him a little too vigorously.  But they are doing really well together, and Finn makes Monkey laugh more than anyone else, just by running around or even just sometimes sitting and looking at him.

Monkey is also getting to be quite the daredevil.  Monkey is an appropriate name for our little climber, as you can see from this picture (that's one of my sister's dogs in the corner; we were watching them while she was honeymooning...3 Bostons just meant even more fun for Monkey!)

He's also very into snuggling before naps and bedtime right now.  We weaned him off the pacifier last weekend, and it went surprisingly well.  He was cutting 3 of his 4 molars, so that was bothering him, I know, but I also think the desire for the pacifier was actually making him crankier.  We usually only let him have it in the crib or in the car seat, but that week, we were finding that it was just too much of a fight to deny him, and yet he was still pretty cranky.

I snipped the tip of one of his pacifiers, and when he woke up and wanted to keep it with him, I gave him the snipped one.  He tried to suck on it, took it out, looked at it, and kept trying to suck on it.  He was fingering the tip and examining it, then showing it to me, trying to figure it out.  Then he just gave it to me and went on his way.  And since then, it's been great.  He's gone down for naps and bedtime as usual, but we've been putting him down awake since at least 9 months.  He's woken a couple times in the night, but he's gone right back to sleep.  He is a little crankier in the car or stroller sometimes, but we've got plenty of toys and books to keep him happy.  He's doing really well, and twice, he found rogue pacifiers I'd missed, and he had it in his mouth before I could stop him, but I took it away right away, and there was no fuss...that NEVER would have happened  before!

So, we think he was getting ready to crank up the pacifier desire and awareness, hence the crankiness, but we weaned him of it before it got to be too difficult, or he could ask for it by name!  I sure am glad we had the pacifier for the first year--it was definitely necessary given his high need for the sucking reflex, and it helped with the comfort nursing early on.  So, it was a useful too, but now, he's just getting too old for it!

But back to the blanket...so our nap/night time routine is to read several  books, and then I turn out the light, and he rests on my shoulder, under his  blanket.  As soon as I turn off the light, he is ready for the flip to my shoulder, and he snuggles in.  And what's more, he's starting to be more generous with his oh-so-rare kisses!  I got four kisses tonight.  He turns his head away from me, then he looks at me, opens his mouth up wide, and comes in for the kiss.  So sweet, and I love this snuggle time even more because he has never been a particularly snuggly baby!




And in other news, my first beta came back today at 881, at 13DP5DT. Now we wait to see if it's doubling, Wednesday AM. I'm feeling some light nausea in the evenings, heartburn, some fatigue, and just occasional, sporadic breast tenderness.  With Monkey, it was 181 11DP5DT, though I know that's not a benchmark.  The 881 however, will be our benchmark for Wednesday, when I go back to see if it's doubled!